The gap behind the net 

And, by net, I don’t mean the one we’re on now. I’d like you to think about my name as a gigantic fishing net, which is lowered into the sea with the aim of catching some fish. In this case, the gap I’m talking about is one of the many holes, which seem to see and know everything because they’ve got an almost complete view, even if different from the others. I obviously can’t see everything and I’ve got a long list of things I’m still looking forward to knowing, but in the meanwhile… why not share with the real net the days, the adventures and the thoughts of a tall and sarcastic 15-year-old, who is happier to be alive than she looks (and sometimes likes to speak in third person)?

What am I doing all of this for, you’d be wondering. Easier than you could think: to be remembered. At the end of the day, isn’t that what matters the most?

Enjoy your stay! 

@layalke 🐍


▶ On the top of the world – Imagine Dragons

Words might help when communicating, but music is on a whole new level.

​The entrance door is open and I can clearly see the peach leaves the wind chaotically stirs. They’ve stopped now. But then they swing more and more and even more.

While they caress each other, they look alive.

Every now and then I can hear the deafening noise of any car. I can clearly hear it; on the other hand, my bed is just a few meters away from the street.

I close my eyes in order to solely focus on the words and the tune I’m listening to through my hearphones.

“And I know it’s hard when you’re falling down

And it’s a long way up when you hit the ground

Get up now, get up, get up now”

It doesn’t mirror my mood. It’s a way too cheerful rhythm and a way too optimistic song to make me avoid to feel alone in the desolation I feel.

The bed mattress I’m lying on is extremely downy. It feels like it wants to swallow me.

It’s just a feeling, a quenchless misery which twists my stomach, which tightens my bones, which dries my throat. My eyes are weary and their lids, they’re heavy. I’m always sleepy, but I never want to sleep.

Watching the leaves doing that bizarre dance of theirs with the air is sorely relaxing. They just dance, not pondering the reason behind so. And they dance majestically, with no esitations. They’re the wind’s companions only and, even though they all follow its direction, every one is unique, peculiar. Perhaps the wind chose them because of this.

@layalke 🐍

You is smart, you is kind, you is important

▶ The living proof – Mary J. Blige

Words might help when communicating, but music is on a whole new level.

I’ll go straight to the point: this movie made me feel ashamed for being white. As it should, actually; I’m not complaining, but now, as I’m typing these words down on a Microsoft Word page, I realise I’m so so incredibly lucky to have a fair skin and to be a millenial. Sure, there are still a lot of things we can totally work on as a matter of human and basic rights, but now, to make things even more understandable about what’s my point of view, let me quote Louis CK’s show Chewed up part about being white:

“I love being white, I really do […] Let me be clear about that: I’m not saying that white people are better; I’m saying that being white is clearly better, who could even argue? […] Here’s how great it is to be white: I can get in a time machine and go to any time and it would be fucking awesome when I get there! That is exclusively a white privilege. Black people can’t fuck with time machines. A black kind of time, she’s like: “Hey, before 1980, no, thank you, I don’t wanna go […]”

Now, besides the humour, which by the way I find hilarious, I don’t think better words about this topic have ever be spoken by a white guy. Here’s the good thing about us white people who want to eradicate bias: we are willing to recognise how loathsome, deplorable and unapologetic behaviour our ancestors showed off and we want to change how things are going to be like from now on.

The actual reason I’m publishing these lines is because The Help made me feel so empty, valueless and furious inside, I knew I needed to do something, even in my own little way. I sincerely apologise for what we, as a race, have done. This won’t change the hundreds of years of suffering and violence of any kind, of course. But I do hope this will be the first of many steps my peers and I will take towards the path of equality.

It may sound arrogant, but I find myself in Skeeter: she wants to be a journalist and a writer, she’ll follow her morals (although she’s surrounded by ignorant and close-minded people) and because of this, she stands out from the mass. She’ll speak the truth about what’s like to be black in the 60’s. She’s outstanding, she’s cheeky and impertinent and I truly admire her.

Anyway I’d be a hypocrite if I said she’s the one I respect the most: Viola Davis and Octavia Spencer play two of the most iconic and badass characters I’ve seen on TV in a while, even though they’re absolutely different women, and that’s possibly why they’re so close: they complete each other.

During the vision of the film, I’ve cried an unhealthy amount of times. Blame it on my hormones or on the fact that I’m an easy-movie-crier, but it touched my deepest and better hidden soul strings. And I hope this sweet but powerful stroke began a majestic tune I’m going to spend my life on playing. Fighting for equality, fighting for us as a whole world population, fighting in order to stop injustices. Remember what the past used to be like and, based on that, make the world a better welcoming place. That’s what I’m going to do.

Immagine correlata


Happiness lies in the joy of achievement

Having taken the 16 personalities test just after finishing to watch the first season of Neltflix’s House of Cards is a pure coincidence, and it’s been even more impredictable that it turned out I’m an ENTJ type, same as Frank Underwood’s.

A dear pen-friend of mine is currently trying to explain to me how the letters in this test work, and I’ve got to admit that it’s harder than I initially thought. Anyway, I’m quite proud of my result because it does describe my personality;

ENTJ type, also known as the Commander one, is exactly what its name says: a leader, a powerhouse, a dominant. I mean, wouldn’t you be glad to hear those words referred to you?

I’ve got big plans for my future carreer and I’m willing to do anything to achieve my goals, just as the result explanation said. Still, I’m asking you not to laugh nor to stay in front of your smartphone with a confused face, I don’t know what I want to do for a living yet. Writing, politics, languages: those are everything I’m actually interested in and everything I believe I could be successful in as well. 

House of Cards, with its catchy theme song, spectacular photography and impeccable acting of its actors, is not-so-slowly dragging me into the debatable and satisfying world of politics and what it’s like to be a consistant part of it. And I simply adore it. I dream to be as clever and smart as Frank, as elegant and charismatic as Claire, as uncontrolled, cheeky and intuitive as Zoe (even though I highly dislike her as whole character).

To clarify: this show did not brainwash me at all. Rarely something can. I’d already beared with me the idea of entering this world for a long time and the series purely and genuinely confirmed my doubts. I’m going to have so many others, of course, but every day I become more aware that this path I’d potentially step on could take me where I want to get and bring me the cheeriness I’m looking forward to live. As my result said, for us Commanders “happiness lies in the joy of achievement” and I couldn’t agree more.

And, by the way, I consider Frank to be one of the hottest middle-aged characters on nowadays TV.

I wanna run away

▶ Run boy run – Woodkid

Words might help when communicating, but music is on a whole new level.

Starting it all over again. Creating a new, better life. Having a new image, a lovely but leady personality, building up and definitely keeping silent my past. Going for adventures, on holidays to places nobody ever talks about, getting to know forgotten places and people. Drinking, eating, dancing. Running, until my bones hurt, until I stretch up my muscles. Working hard to get enough money to let me do everything I listed above. Kissing who I want to kiss, punching the face of who deserves so, staying away from drugs. Going for a car ride all night long and telling the people I’ve brought with me everything that comes up to my mind at that moment. Not rushing things up, taking a breath from my routine. Driving, staying out all night long, buying airplanes tickets. Sharing a pair of hearphones, discovering new music. Playing random instruments in the street. Taking a nap, looking at the cieling, or staying on a roof, just watching the dark sky around me, star gazing. Spending the night at the beach and watching its sunset and sunrise in order to photograph them and look at the pictures everytime I feel low. Giving birth to memories. Speaking French, Spanish, Russian. Learning by who feels the need to teach, with no arrogance nor conceit, just for the sake of telling stories. Telling stories, hearing and commenting them. Writing and writing, until my hands and my fingers implore me to stop, even when my brain and my mind are tired. Laughing until my face paralyses and I need to massage my cheeks. Laughing until I cry. Crying and not being judged for it. Crying with who needs to and comfort them and being comforted. Being hugged until I fall asleep in my hugger’s arms and sleeping of a fairly and ristorative sleep, everyday having a beauty rest. Dressing up nice, always being elegant and classy, going to the theatre and to the cinema. Being independent and literally not having to look after anyone. Being truly happy. 

I’m trapped in a life I don’t belong to.

I’ve discovered Twitter after years of snobbing it and it’s awesome

▶ Carmen – Stromae

Words might help when communicating, but music is on a whole new level.

More than the lyrics, which anyway I consider effective and smart and catchy, I suggest watching the video of the song I’ve written above. It truly does show what I would really hate to become because of my new discovering.
You’ll forgive this “Buzzfeed-y” title because it really sends out what my mind is on at the moment. Yes, I’ll admit it. I’ve been such a hater of the world of Twitter, constantly attaching fictional signs that had “Instagram > Twitter” (which I still agree on) written on and simply disliking how few letters you can type in a post. I mean, two perfectly constructed sentences and you’ve already finished your room. 

But now, since my best friend unintentionally brainwashed me just after downloading Twitter himself… man, I couldn’t help it. And now, boom baby, it’s been two days since I got it and I’ve already organised every posts I’m going to publish daily until Christmas 2018. 

Maybe it’s the bird, maybe it’s the blueish colour, I don’t know. But I’ve never been happier of discovering a Social. Neither Snapchat itself (which now I consider the devil of apps and the hell of photography) made me so satisfied. Birds are better than dog filters. 

I’ll stay loyal to the one and only love of my life, Instagram, but, if you readers are on the fence, “Should I get it or not?”, listen to me: JUST DO IT! And then, feel free to follow me on there. Having a character limit makes me feel under pressure and therefore I’m even funnier.

Plus, I’d like to add that I’ve not been paid by all the social medias I’ve quoted (is that even possible?) nor by Nike. Potential product placements everywhere.

@layalke 🐍

Life weariness

I do apologise in advance for the complete mess my mind gave birth to. It’s more of an experiment, a sort of brainstorming, whose text won’t be revised neither corrected nor read in the meanwhile. I know it’s hard to be appreciated, but I feel like it needs to be a thing, it needs to exist, as incomplete and chaotic as it is.

I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s way easier to get sad than to try and be happy. The latter sentence is the whole point of this post, I’ve decided to write it first in order to catch anyone’s attention. Likes and views aren’t as many as what you all made me used to in those three initial months. You’ve just seen me throwing a little vent in a subtle way, just to slightly complain about how my blog is going. Oh, yes, I forgot to tell you: it’s 11:53 pm of any Thursday and, since I’m running out of ideas, I’ll just brainstorm any sentences which come up to my mind. I’m not even starting new lines because I’d love you to read what I’m writing just as I’m doing it, confusedly but remotely logic. Enough of my yammering and back to the beginning: I really envy truly happy people. I do. Because… how? But, most importantly: why? The angry part of my personality is the first one to answer (“Because they’ve never had to go through any rough moments during the course of their life.) Well, you’re probably right and I’d be tended to utterly agree with you. I mean, every truly happy person (or who called themeselves so) I’ve ever met has always lived an amazing life and still does. When they tell me about what they consider “problems”, I’d like to punch them in the face and make them live just 1/4 of what I’ve been forced to face. That’s the same logic of those parents (mine included) that tell their children: “Oh baby love, think about African or Asian kids… they’re starving and would die to eat what you’re throwing a tantrum for”. I’ve always hated those whimsical kids and I’m shamed I was one of them for a brief period of my life. Anyway: I was going to contradict myself and say something like: “Yeah, my anger says so but actually I believe happy people are brave enough not to be put down”, but I’m not going to say it because that’s not what I think. It’s not that I hate happy people, I would never hate something I aim to. I just won’t understand them. Why me and not you? Why do you have the chance to live the perfect life and I was taken away that possibility? That automatically leads to another important issue: if you think that your past doesn’t and shouldn’t define yourself, quit reading NOW. It’s o b v i o u s that your life, God, destiny, call it as you want, has never made you think about suicide. Because, trust me, when you’re close to doing such an obnoxious and lame act, you’ve really had enough. And, of course, since the day you where saved (by another person or by yourself), you’ll never be the same and that will always affect your way of thinking, of speaking, of apologising, of arguing, of living. By saying that, I wasn’t trying to get your pity or become the new “suicide girl“. I was just trying to tell a story. The story of an unhappy person who is tremendously jealous of the happy.   Could I be any more selfish and self-centered? I highly doubt so.

@layalke 🐍

And then there were none

▶ Hunt you down – The Hit House

Words might help when communicating, but music is on a whole new level.

The title of the theatre piece I played in yesterday, inspired by “10 little niggers” by Agatha Christie. Yeah guys, I’m a theatre kid and proud to be. I always encourage everyone to take drama classes because they can change your perspective of a life, if you work with the right people. And, by right, I mean amusing and expert people, able to have fun with and, still, able to let you learn something.

My drama mates are my second family and I couldn’t imagine living a day without knowing them. Our relationship is not clingy at all, but we lived so many moments together and made so many unforgettable memories that you realise you simply need it. Therefore, I’m already looking forward to starting to take classes again. This whole summer will be a little less amazing because our course is suspended.

Anyway, it doesn’t mean we’re not going to keep in touch: we’re still hanging out. I freaking love them.

Now, let’s talk about the performance itself. Of course there is always something that is going to be wrong: someone could skip their line, or hit another actor by mistake, or also hit and make something fall, break and make a noise… the most important thing is to keep going and act as you would in real life, always by conforming to the period you’re living in.

Yes guys, living, because acting is not pretending to be Mr. Nobody, is being Mr. Nobody. In fact, when everytime I’m on a stage, I’m not Alessia anymore and I don’t feel like I am. I just belong to my character and its mind. I think as it would. I act as it would. That’s also why I’m not a big fan of learning a script by heart: you need to think the words you say in order to feel them and make them true.

For example, yesterday I portayed Mrs. Brent, an old, religious, old-fashioned and old maid and, even though Alessia is young, modern and an atheist, there was Mrs. Emily Brent on that stage. In more than one occasion I made the sign of cross, something I wouldn’t do even if I was being tortured, but it just felt natural and correct.

Kids, theatre is basically everything you need in order to open yourself and be extroverted. It teaches you the proper diction, how to use your vocal range and your voice, how to make others notice you, how to solve a situation you weren’t prepared for, how to face inexpected moments you may go through. It teaches you to laugh, to cry, to express anger and joy. It teaches you to live and to die. And you learn to listen to others, to hear them err and rejoice because they manage to do what they aim to. 

It’s a world you enter that will never disappoint you.

I’m proud of what I’ve reached but, most importantly, I’m proud and passionate of what is going to happen and I have the good fortune to share it with awesome people.

Two of my mates and I were given this same flower by one of our teachers.

@layalke 🐍